Then, there are days like today when I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. From the moment I opened my eyes this morning things started going downhill. It was after 8am and everyone was still asleep, myself included. I never use an alarm because for two years I have had an alarm in two small children. Sleeping past eight would have been a joy on Monday, Wednesday or Friday morning but today we had to get ready for pre-school and Josiah's morning routine is so intricate that you simply can NOT skip a step. We had to get up, get dressed and use the potty. Eat breakfast and use the potty again. Get our backpack together and head to school in less than thirty minutes. And don't forget, I have to drag poor Oliver around with us step for step. He is such a champ!
So I burst into Josiah's room with extra gusto saying, "We're late, we're late, we're late, for a very important date!" (Alice in Wonderland is a big hit around here). He groans to me, "Don't wake me up Mommy." Um, when did he turn into a teenager? I looked into his crib and wouldn't you know it, he was covered in throw up. "Oh Josiah! What happened? Are you sick?" I asked him. "I throw up in my crib mama." He says.
I took off his dirty pajamas and his diaper. Then stripped his bed and threw everything into the wash. Including poor Woody who took one for the team and got his cowboy outfit completely hosed down in toddler barf. Then I came back to Josiah who was sitting patiently on his changing table. "Are you sick?" I asked again. "No, I feelin so goooood." he says. I take his temperature. 97.7. I put him in the shower and cleaned him up, combed his hair and got him dressed. "I go to school Mama. I learn the letter f. " He says. "Your sure?" I ask. 'Uhhh huhhhh." he tells me.
Ok! Must have been a fluke! We are back on track.
Skipping potty time (gasp!), I flew into Oliver's room. He sat up sleepy eyed and said, "Ma-Ma." Ah. He is such a sweetie. I barely talked to him and got him dressed all the while with Josiah yelling, "Bubby tired Mama! Put him back to bed!" We went to the kitchen and I gave each boy a banana and a cereal bar and said, "We are eating in the car today, we're late!" I felt a twinge of guilt thinking of everything that is wrong with kids nutrition and meals to go and random food like cereal bars but decided that one morning eating breakfast in the car in two years isn't that bad and continued on.
"I wanna wear my cowboy boots Mommy." Josiah tells me. "Not today. They aren't for school." I say. "I wanna WEAR EM!" he screams and starts to cry. "Ok whatever, go get them." I grumble thinking how crazy they are going to look with his polo and corduroys but at this point it isn't worth the battle. He comes running down the hall carrying one boot and the other is on the wrong foot. "I neeeeeeed HELP!" he say's looking desperate. We sit down and get his boots on. I put a jacket on him and put his backpack on his back. I pick up Oliver and we walk to the front porch. I was standing next to Josiah and still holding Oliver. Then, as if I was watching an instant re-play in slow motion Josiah fell from the top step face first, onto the concrete. For a moment everything stopped and I was frozen, Josiah was frozen and there was no sound. I screamed, "JOSIAH!" and he began to cry. I ran down the stairs and lunged poor Ollie into the grass. He began to wail loudly along with Josiah and simultaneous screams were echoing down Estelle Park Drive.
I was honestly scared to move Josiah. My mind was racing thinking back to my first aid class and how you aren't supposed to move hurt people. What if his face was stuck to the sidewalk? In my two years as mother I haven't seen anything like this before. He was still face down on the concrete when I eventually lifted him up. His entire face was covered in blood and I felt my heart drop. I started crying which totally freaked Josiah out even more. I was running around holding him and looking for my phone, meanwhile Oliver was still sitting in the grass crying. If social services had been there they would have taken them away from me. I have never felt less capable of watching children in my life.
I brought both boys inside, found my phone and called Jaime. He talked to me and calmed me down, then he talked to Josiah and calmed him down. I washed the blood off his face with a warm wash cloth and asked him if he needed to go to the doctor? "NO!! I no go Doctor!! Bubby get hurt at the doctor!! (Shots.)" I took off his cowboy boots and got him his blanket. We turned on Mickey Mouse and suddenly all was right in the world. I made him real breakfast and let him eat at the dining room table. I gave Oliver a bottle and a banana and tried to give him a little love too.
Being a Mommy is the hardest job in the whole world! I seriously can't take my eyes off of either of them for a second. Crazy stuff happens even when my eyes ARE on them! Having two so young is at times, nearly impossible. I can't give either of them adequate attention and am left feeling like a total basket case. What if something happens to one of them? I can't believe pretty much anyone can have a baby and bring it home from the hospital without any prior knowledge or a basic set of instructions. I mean, I like to think I am way ahead of most people in the parenting area and if I can't even do it, what is going on at other people's houses? How do kids make it through the toddler years in one piece?
In the end, Josiah got to skip school and go have a picnic with Daddy. I remembered to teach him that FALL begins with the letter F so he wouldn't get behind. As in, "I fall down the stairs Mama." When I put him down for his nap he was seriously banged up but he was smiling. I guess I can't ask for much else. Please wish me luck the next 16 years and pray hard!
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