6 Months Later and Still Missing Her...

Last August, I got a call from my Dad that it was time for me to make the trip home to say goodbye to my precious Nana. We had known for sometime that this day was coming. In past couple of years she had experienced a decline in health and was living in a skilled nursing facility or as she affectionately referred to it, "The Home." As we get older the circle of life becomes so much more real. We begin having and watching our own children grow-up while saying goodbye to those who shaped us in so many more ways than could ever be conveyed in a single blog. I didn't just lose a grandparent with Nana.... I lost a friend, confidant and virtual savior. She was and is such a huge part of who I am today and six months later, I still think of her everyday and either want to laugh out loud or cry.

When making arrangements for the funeral I offered to speak about what she meant to me the past 27 years. It was very the least that I could do. So better late than never, I would like to share what I read that day:

"We are all here today because we were lucky enough to know Helen Smith. I consider myself most fortunate not only because she was my Nana but because I was able to spend the majority of my life, thus far, living just a stones throw away on a little piece of property that we all called, "The Sound."

I first moved to the sound when I was only 3 years old. I loved being able to go to my grandparents house for waffles in the morning and to swim in the pool. I would walk down the dirt road to my house later in the day only to hear my phone ringing and Nana asking if I wanted to come back down for a deviled egg sandwich and a coke... I always did.

I could count on her for almost anything. I would call and leave messages daily and even taught her how to punch in that 3 digit code on the back of her answering machine so that she could check her messages from her daily golf lesson at The Cape...and she always did.

The older I got, the more challenging I became and after I lost my license I became dependent on Nana, yet again. Only this time I was beyond embarrassed to be 17 and have my grandmother picking me up each day from Hoggard. Everyday I asked her, "Nana, please stay in the car! " and every single day at 3:30, I would leave class to find her in the middle of the forum talking to who else? The coolest kids in school. She would be asking them, "Have you seen my granddaughter, Kelley Smith?" I was mortified.

Then my freshman year in college, still without a license, I wouldn't even let her get near the campus. I would walk over a mile each away to avoid similar embarrassment. And regardless of the fact that I behaved like an ungrateful brat, who jammed rap music at the Sunbirds highest deciable...she still showed up faithfully each day and never once judged me. That is who she was. She very well may have been the strongest woman I have ever known. She was loyal and she loved her family more than anything.

So finally, after many wonderful years and more recently a couple of tough ones, she is at peace and reunited with her WG "Bill" Smith. And while we will miss such an amazing woman we are comforted in knowing that everything is as it should be. And not that I would ever have to remind the pro to do this, but I am confident that when she reaches her tee time in the sky we can all expect her to..."Sit down. Hug the Ground. Shift your weight and SWING THE CLUB!" "

Love you Nana, miss you.

Skinny Legs, Stopped Up Bums and Runny Noses

So I may have mentioned in previous blogs that my wonderful husband, who in spite of having a cardiologist for a father and a PA for a sister, doesn't actually believe in medicine. And no, he isn't one of those no vax believers. He totally thinks you should get all your shots and once you have them you'll never get sick, ever. And this is an actual Jaime philosophy... If you feel yourself getting sick your mind can stop it. You just have to concentrate really hard and push the sickness away. Seriously. And in the 9 years we have been together, I have never once seen him have a common cold, a fever or throw up (with the exception of the white trash party aftermath but that wasn't from germs). He also believes some diseases are totally imaginary. For example, allergies. Or arthritis. He is a funny one and I love him dearly.

That said, I have started to take on his philosophy somewhat (Although, NOT when I am shivering and sweating at the same time and vomiting all over myself and he looks at me like, "Push it away. Think better. Feel Better".) and our children rarely ever go to the doctor. In fact, our pediatrician disappeared last summer and we have yet to get another one, simply because we haven't needed one. I don't even call the nurse line because guaranteed I am smarter than most of those ladies and I do not have 6 available hours to hold... And after the time I called because Josiah slept until 10 Oclock in the morning ( this was an emergency considering he never slept past 4am as a baby) and they told me to go take all his clothes off and shake him...I have decided to just alternate Tylenol and Motrin every 4 hours for almost any problem and wait. The point of all of this is that when we finally do roll into the doctor's office we have a whole list of problems. They will ask, "How long has this been going on?" and I am like, "Since the middle of September" and then they look at me like I am confused.

So, on to ailment number one: Josiah got his cast off last Thursday and we were all relived to see it go. No more trash bag baths and two legs for soccer season starting in March, hooray!
However, since the removal of the cast he has been dragging his leg behind him and refuses to bend his knee. His foot turns out too. It is a sad little walk to watch and I long for my hyper active boy to run around in circles again. Also, his right leg is very skinny and has little muscle left. Where did it all go in just 3 weeks? If all this continues he may have to go to physical therapy and I guess all we can say is that thank goodness he will eventually get better...even if it is taking longer than we thought.

And number two: After getting the cast he stopped pooping. I know, TMI, but he NEVER poops! It is super freaky and he is so uncomfortable. He spins around and grabs his bum screaming, "MY BUM HURTS!" which in the grocery store is a little embarrassing for everyone involved. We have tried suppositories and OTC meds but nothing is freeing his poop. AH! And for the third and final ailment: This weekend he got a fever and seemed so dazed that I drove halfway to the emergency room. Note: I turned around and went back home when he started asking me about all of the princesses and "Where do they live?" But he had finally gotten my attention. I found and made an appointment with a new pediatrician Monday morning. When the Doc came in I had to explain that Josiah had a fever, seems out of it, can't walk right and hasn't pooped in a month. He looked at me like, "Hold up, start over." I explained all of our issues and thankfully they are all unrelated. The fever is because he has a cold, his walk will get better when the muscles gain strength and the pooping or rather the absence of pooping, is really common around toddlers who are potty training and become afraid of poop. He gave him some Myrolax to clear him out (Great. Can't wait for that).

So all in all, poor little Josiah is have a rough time! He is the sweetest little boy and I can't wait for him to feel better. Being a parent is a bizarre experience. Someday's it feels like I am on that show Wipeout (but much louder) and people are just throwing obstacles in my direction to make me fall. Still, I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world. I am so in love with all three of my boys! Please say a little prayer for Josiah and another one that neither he nor Ollie ever gets diagnosed with allergies. That we could NOT handle.

Am I Crazy?

Josiah likes to sing a little song that goes something like this, "Cause when you're up you're up. And when you're down you're down. And if you're only half way up you're neither up nor down." Is he singing to me? In the mornings I feel like I can barely get out of bed when one of the kids inevitably starts screaming at 6:50am. Then I get up and turn into the energizer bunny. Changing and dressing kids, making breakfast, working out like a maniac, chugging coffee, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, building castles out of the 7 legos we can seem to locate, breaking up fist fights, reading Tangled AGAIN, sit-ups and push ups, potty training, begging and bribing, crying, laughing and eventually crashing at nap time (Me, not the kids...they usually stay in their rooms banging on the walls waiting for me to get up again.) Seriously, I am like a walking ad for Ambilfy. And then I start to think, should we have another baby? Initial response: Um, hell no.

More carefully thought out response: Maybe. Pros: Three kids seems like a fun family eventually. Like a picture out of Pottery Barn Kids with the three twin beds in a row and that awesome storage cubby on the wall. Three kids playing and entertaining themselves like half a soccer team. Support from one another and an untouchable closeness. Sharing secrets and building forts. Having each others backs. Being able to have a Conley take a Gold, Silver and Bronze all in the same Olympic marathon. You know, fun stuff. Cons: Having 3 children under 4. Considering that I have already broken one of their legs and sent the other one into the emergency room after an incident with a shower curtain and minor head trauma, I can only imagine how I would handle 3 kids. Gaining and losing 40 pounds AGAIN. Not being able to run as far and as fast as I want for 40 more weeks. Possibly getting another stretch mark on my perfect 6 pack. Figuring out how I would get them all into and out of the car. Not sleeping (Major CON), nursing every 2 hours for a year, not drinking or taking meds (surely needed with 3 kids), not knowing where we would put them all or where we are going to live (our house is for sale), paying for three kids at Ivy League schools all at the same time- oh wait, they'll probably get scholarships. I guess that can be a pro. Another pro?


Look at how sweet babies are! The first is a picture of Josiah (1 day old) and the second is Oliver (also 1 day old but so much bigger than teeny, preemie Sisi ). Getting pregnant in the next few months would make baby number 3 and Oliver 2.5 years apart. Which is exactly twice the amount of time in between Ollie and Josiah (15 months). So that should be easy, right? And really, what is one more?

So, what do we do? Right now I am going to assume that yes I am in fact crazy and go take a nap.