Josiah goes to the Dentist

Yesterday afternoon Josiah had his first official dentist visit. He went when he was around 18 months and had all of his teeth counted but now that he is a big 3 year old it was time to have them cleaned. I have always been fanatical about teeth. Having had so many issues with my own teeth due to repercussions from Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever medication (that saved my life but ruined my teeth) I have been brushing my boys teeth since they've had teeth. I never sent them to bed with a bottle (I breastfed them both for a year) and have to stop myself daily from freaking out if something not 100% from the earth goes into their mouth. They have treats but they are limited to birthday parties and special occasions. We don't drink juice or eat candy or processed sugary foods very much at all.

So, imagine my surprise when after a very successful cleaning (seriously, Josiah was a rock star in Spiderman sunglasses, chillaxin to the max in the laid back chair) to find out he has 3 cavities! Two of them so aggressively decayed that he may require root canals. I was so upset. I mean really, really upset. I mentally zipped my lips together while I received the bad news that was accompanied by a lecture on diet and tooth brushing. I was pretty sure any minute DSS was going to arrive and drag me away for slipping Mountain Dew into his sippy cup and I was prepared to start screaming, "STOP, I'm Innocent!" But I mentally zipped and listened. Then we left with our little referral card to the specialist who will no doubt sedate my little boy with anesthesia and saw off his two back molars and replace them with crowns and send Mommy and Daddy a bill for one million dollars for being such bad parents.

The rest of the night I was racking my brain thinking of crappy food that I may not think is crappy but actually is. Here's what I came up with besides the obvious cupcakes and juice boxes from the birthday parties we seem to attend every weekend now: Pretzels, wheat thins, raisins, goldfish, pancakes and cheerios- all carbohydrates that eventually turn to sugar. But doesn't every other kid eat this stuff too? I have been to my fair share of play dates and I know what kids eat. If he doesn't eat this stuff what will he eat? Unfortunately, I am not going to have much success in sitting him down with a plate of steamed broccoli for dinner and believe me, I have tried. We don't eat meat and aside from cheese what am I supposed to do? This is not a rhetorical question. Seriously, what am I supposed to do? Why are my little boys teeth, "Aggressively decaying?" I don't want to be one of those people in denial who shows up at the doctor 250 pounds with diabetes and heart disease and says something like, "But I don't eat anything bad, I swear."

So, today after breakfast I pined Josiah down and scrubbed his back teeth. Not an easy task let me tell you. And I did the same thing after lunch. Unfortunately, though it appears that I am too late. I guess I should have been doing this all along.

I guess now I will have the first kid with a broken bone and the first with three cavities. I am WINNING in the Mom category right now. Thank goodness I am a mom and have to behave as such or I may just walk outside and scream out the F word super, duper loud. F*CK!!!!!!